How To Tell If You Are An American Witch:
by Kerry
You have substituted soda-pop for wine in ritual--
Coke=Traditional/ Gardenarian,
Cherry Coke=Alexandrian,
Dr. Pepper=Eclectric,
7-Up or Vanilla Coke=Dianic,
RootBeer=Folk/ Appalachian,
GingerAle=Native American,
Grape=Neo/Reconstru ctionist,
Orange=Chaos,
Pepsi=New Age/Wiccan,
Cream Soda=Faery,
Mountain Dew=Satanic

You have substituted cookies for cakes in ritual--
Almond Cookies=Traditional /Gardenarian,
Brownies=Alexandria n,
Chips Ahoy=Eclectric,
Sugar Cookies=Dianic,
Oatmeal Raisin=Folk/ Appalachian,
Molasses=Native American,
Pecan Sandies=Neo/ Reconstructionis t,
Nutter Butters=Chaos,
White Chocolate Macadamia Nut=New Age/Wiccan,
Vanilla Wafers=Faery,
Oreos=Satanic

You bought your chalice on eBay and it has at least one dragon on it

You bought your athame at a Flea Market and it has at least one dragon
on it

Your paten or pentacle on the altar is hand-made ceramic that you
bought at a Pagan Craft Faire and it has at least one dragon on it

You have left an 'offering' of hotdogs and potato chips under the oak
tree after a family cook-out

You consider the end of your driveway as a 'crossroads'

You have ever 'honored the Lord and Lady' in a tent in the back yard

Marshmallows and S'Mores are incorporated in your Beltaine Fire
celebration

Your home is Feng-Shui, your Chakras are all open, and your Aura is
clean and you are not concerned about your Karma because you harmed
none today

You have ever saved the last sip of Mocha Latte and the last bite of
Krispy Kreme for the Fairies(they love Krispy Kremes!)

You have ever used Kosher Salt on the altar or burned Opium incense
(it does smell better than Sandalwood!)

You have ever used the Flag of the United States as an altar cloth
(only on 4th of July, Memorial Day and Veteran's Day!)

At least one of your ritual robes is denim or tie-dyed

Your Goddesses are Isis and Diana and Hecate and your Gods are Odin
and Herne and Dionysius and if you invited them to a dinner party you
would serve sushi and quesadillas

You have ever smudged your bathroom with white sage after your
husband/boyfriend/ brother/father used it -------

And finally you KNOW you are an American Witch if you hope someday to
make a Sacred Pilgrimage to Salem, Massachusetts.